Love Languages
Using the language of love will transform the energy in your relationships, bringing you closer to loved ones by feeling more connected. For me, it has changed my marriage for the better.
The five love languages are a way of understanding how people express and receive love. They were popularized by Dr. Gary Chapman in his book "The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts."
The five love languages are:
Words of affirmation: People who value words of affirmation feel loved when their partner tells them how much they are loved, appreciated, and valued. They like to hear compliments, words of encouragement, and words of appreciation. Acknowledging someone with a kind smile can change their entire day. Give generously if this is your love language.
Acts of service: People who value acts of service feel loved when their partner does things for them that they appreciate. This could include anything from making dinner to running errands to giving them a massage. Note that if you love helping and being of service, this is also your love language.
Receiving gifts: People who value receiving gifts, feel loved when their partner gives them gifts that they like or that show they have been thinking of them. The gift doesn't have to be expensive or elaborate, it just needs to be something that the person will appreciate. Be thoughtful.
My son’s number one love language is receiving gifts and I love giving gifts. I just bought him rice candies with edible clear wrapper because he loved them when he was little. Now, he is 15 and going through growing pains. I surprised him with the candies, and he lit up. He smiled and reminisced. It took him to a happy place for a moment and it reminded him that I listen, care, and act on his behalf.
Quality time: People who value quality time feel loved when their partner spends time with them and gives them their undivided attention. This could include anything from going on dates, to just spending time together talking, or doing something they both enjoy. My husband and I really enjoy the time we are sitting near each other, reading, resting, and meditating. It doesn’t have to be anything major. It’s the quality of time. Find your own style.
Physical touch: People who value physical touch feel loved when their partner touches them in a loving and affectionate way. This could include hugging, kissing, holding hands, or any other form of physical contact that they enjoy.
It is important to note that everyone's love language is different. What makes one person feel loved may not make another person feel loved. There are online quizzes you can take and share.
Once you know someone's love language, you can start to express your love for them in a way that they will appreciate. This will help to strengthen your relationship and make them feel loved and acknowledged.
We all have our love languages and have consciously or unconsciously ranked them. When you connect with someone and speak their love languages, they feel seen and heard. It’s beautiful and heartfelt. Try it and see.
Finally note: Gary Chapman also wrote a book on apology languages. Another book I recommend.
Shine Bright!
