How To Ask Someone To Be Your Mentor

One of the best moments in my life was when I asked someone to be my mentor. 

Going through life is so tough and I realized I didn’t have references, maps, or guides. How was going to achieve my dreams, goals, and desires by just “figuring it out?” I needed help, and what I needed was a mentor. Someone who had done what I wanted to accomplish, and more importantly, someone who was being who I wanted to be. 

The first thing I did, was write a list of qualities and characteristics of my newly anointed mentor, someone I deeply desired in my life. Once done, I gave the list to the Universe. When my mentor did show up, I knew the Universe had listened. My mentor had checked all the items on my list!

It all started when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and told I would have to suffer my entire life. That wasn’t an acceptable path for me, so I did research until I found an integrative MD who specialized in helping people with chronic issues. Over time, thankfully, my doctor (and his protocol) was able to improve my health to about 80%. However, I knew I needed some mental and emotional support for the balance, but didn’t want to do traditional therapy–I had “been there, done that,” and felt there had to be something better. That’s when I asked my doctor who recommended his colleague. She had just recently developed a technique that rapidly transformed trauma and pain. And, what had become more apparent to me over time, was I sensed trauma from being adopted as an infant. I didn’t know how to clear this emotional pain, and that’s when I booked an appointment to see Dr. Dorre Lin Ray, DC. 

The first session I had with her blew my mind as she opened me up to a whole new world–energy medicine. That day changed me forever and I knew I needed to understand how it was possible to experience such a rapid transformation. I had a few more sessions with her to see what else I could clean up in my life. I was instantly fascinated with all aspects of energy medicine and its intersection with spirituality. I knew Dr. Ray was in the process of synthesizing her work into a workshop format and I knew I wanted to be a part it. But more so, I wanted to be a part of her life. She was who I wanted to be.

I will never forget the day my husband, Chris, and I (being newlyweds) were on our way to a hike and dinner when I expressed to him how thankful I was to have Dorre in my life. But, I lamented on how I wished she could be my mentor. Chris plainly asked, “Why don’t you ask her?” I laughed thinking if only if it was that easy. It was like asking a super cute guy for a date or asking a boss for a promotion. Too tough, right? But, that was ridiculous. So, I decided to ask her. I was all excited and nervous at once. When I had such a strong reaction, I knew I needed to do it! So, I called and asked her out for breakfast and she readily agreed. Over scrambled eggs and toast, I asked her and she said, “Yes!” To this day, that’s one of the best asks I have made in my life. 

Dorre Lin Ray is brilliant, heart-centered, and generous. She has taken her role in my life seriously and I couldn’t be more thankful! I am who I am today (especially professionally) in large part due to her influence. Her contribution to my learning and understanding of energy medicine definitely accelerated my evolution and has allowed me to serve at the highest level. I was able to help her synthesize her work into a workshop format, co-facilitate workshops with her in California and Colorado, and best of all, change the lives of many for the better. These were opportunities that I could not imagine finding in a more traditional way. 

Flash forward: It’s been 25 years and I savor all our moments together. She and her dear husband, Alan, have become family. They are healthy, active, conscious, connected, and have become God-grandparents to my son. 

In 2022, Dorre published her book on this work she developed called Coming Home to Your Self: With the Selfhood System & Practice. To learn more, check out her website. 

I give thanks regularly for the part of myself that knew to write a list for a mentor, my husband for being a champion for me, and then the part of me that had the courage to ask Dorre to be my mentor.

I hope this inspires you to ask for what you want. You never know unless you ask. We need others to help us achieve our goals. Life is not a solo journey. We don’t always end up with the right people around us. Write your lists of the qualities and characteristics of the various people you want in your life. It is a magical process! The Universe will respond. Be open to the ride it takes you on. 

Finally, if you have the ability to be a mentor to someone in your life, do it! What an honor it is to mentor someone. We should all be so lucky.

Shine Bright!